My mom thought we would need a hammer to get this pole into the ground but I just pushed it in and I almost said “psh, hammer my asshole” but then I realized

(via confirmance)


my mom always throws old clothes that she has nothing to do with in my closet, and whenever i call her out on it, she says “i have never done that, all of the clothes in your closet are yours”

are you sure mom

are you sure these are my clothes

(via whoredinarygirl)



when youre walking past a dead body in a horror game and it suddenly comes back to life


Oh my god you can almost hear the pug’s screams. 

(via megustamemes)


I wish I had google as a brain

(Source: wastery, via tightvaginas)


a hundred motha fuckas cant tell me nothin. im deaf why are they yelling at me

(via pizza)